I am no boy, no ah beng, no stupid boy either.

How would it feel being labelled bad by your own parents..haiz.. today maybe i don't feel very great, likewise for the past two days.. Maybe is the level of maturity? Now i am demanding more freedom from my parents. Honestly i feel very trapped by my own parents.. as i heard so many of my friends, having so many dreams, so inspiring dreams, supported by their parents, i felt so jealous that i simply had no parents like them. My dreams are being shot down, by my own very own parents.. Forced to walk the path they designed for me, I hate that. I want to work and experience the sense of fulfillment, but my parents demand me to give all my earnings to them.. I don't like it....

For the entire childhood life of mine, I had not demand anything from my parents. the handphone i had, was the one they had used for 5 years near the brime of dying. The clothes i wore, are all second hand. Shoes i wore are all below ten dollars.. everything they spent on me are all below ten dollars. and yet I had never ever voice my grief, cause i understand that it is hard to earn money, but they had always scolded me for spending too much money, when everyday i had only took 5 bucks from them and spend onli 4 bucks. SO what is too much and what is too little.. I don't think my parents had a sense of that. Instead they do all that appease my siblings... I don't want anyone to tear my dreams, cause i truly got a dream, what hurts more is that no one recognise my dream, all look down me.. even the people who gave me life...

For so long, I search my happiness alone from outsiders, I search love within myself, search for the small gap to escape from the deadly jail, search for the constructed road to walk on, search for the freedom to dream, freedom to be myself. But all this proved to be short living.. AM I REALLY DESTINED TO HAVE SHORT TERM HAPPINESS?? SHORT TERM SUCCESS?? DESPITE ALL THAT I HAD DONE???? for so long, i treat all this as part of my life, my challenge, my test,haven it ends? it really proved too much to me.. why.. I am nothing, why is so many people challenging me.. why isit when i wan to change, people will mock at me.. WHY WHY WHY...

In the eyes of all nobles, it hides the vision of passion and dreams.. can i have that pairs of eyes too?? it cost really much...